A Passage From The Fifth Mountain

 I just finished reading Paulo Coehlo's novel The Fifth Mountain.
The book is filled with black lines left behind by the ink of my pen.
There was so much in the novel that I connected to...in ways that I can't fully describe.
I felt like the words on the pages were a reflection of my thoughts, my doubts, and my struggles. But it went beyond mere reflection;  I found inspiration and encouragement within the pages as well.

There are so many passages and sentences that I want to post on here, but I will stick with one for now.
It's long, but I encourage you to actually read it.
For those who know me well, you might understand why I connect so much with this.
And for those who don't know me well, or maybe do but don't see the connection, maybe these words will inspire something for you.

That Night, a man entered Jacob's tent and wrestled with him until the break of day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he said, "Let me go."
Jacob answered, "I will not let thee go, except thou bless me."
Then the man said to him: "As a prince, has thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. What is thy name?" And he said, Jacob.
And the man answered: "Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel."

"Elijah awoke with a start and looked at the firmament. That was the story that was missing!

Long ago, the patriarch Jacob had encamped, and during the night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated: and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life: it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: 'Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?'

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens--not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

'The brave are always stubborn.'

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts.

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

Elijah retraced in his mind each of his steps. Upon leaving the carpentry shop, he had accepted his mission without dispute. Even though it was real--and he felt it was--he had never had the opportunity to see what was happening in the paths that he had chosen not to follow because he feared losing his faith, his dedication, his will. He thought it was very dangerous to experience the path of common folk--he might become accustomed to it and find pleasure in what he saw. He did not understand that he was a person like any other, even if he heard angels and now and again received orders from God; in his certainty that he knew what he wanted, he had acted in the selfsame way as those who at no time in their lives had ever made an important decision.

He had fled from doubt. From defeat. From moments of indecision. But the Lord was generous and had led him to the abyss of the unavoidable, to show him that man must choose--and not accept--his fate.

Many, many years before, on a night like this, Jacob had not allowed God to leave without blessing him. It was then that the Lord had asked: 'What is thy name?'

The essential point was this: to have a name. When Jacob had answered, God had baptized him Israel. Each one has a name from birth but must learn to baptize his life with the word he has chosen to give meaning to that life.

'I am Akbar,' she had said.

The destruction of the city and the death of the woman he loved had been necessary for Elijah to understand that he too must have a name. And at that moment he named his life Liberation."


Coehlo, Paul. The Fifth Mountain. pgs 203-206.